Witty replies to the Obama Inaugaration Mania in my liberal friends' Facebook status updates

At 2 pm today, I checked my Facebook profile and saw several new friends’ status updates. Wow, I know a lot of people that cashed in their brains for soup kitchen tickets. Many changed their status to something in line with the Barack Obama inauguration adoration. So I couldn’t help but give a dose of sarcasm for a reply. I took the names out and replaced it with _____. Not all are necessarily Probama. You should be able to figure it out. The bold is the status comment, and the italics are my verbal assaults.

Enjoy!

__________ is ecstatic! change is here! yes we can!

Dear Obama, bless me with security and understanding. Please take my bills away and anything difficult in life. You are my all in all. I don't think I really understood anything You say, so You must be totally divine. I'm still a little confused on the hope = change and change = hope circular logic thingy, but please grant me understanding of Your Truth. And forgive me for my transgressions against Your Holiness.

In the name of the Savior, Barack Obama, amen.

__________ is watching the inauguration with the hope that Obama can do all that he has promised, and the knowledge that GOD is in charge.

If he does everything he said he'd do, it will truly be the downfall of Western Civilization. Or at least it will be for four years.

__________ says "Buh Bye Dubya!"

Elect Palin 2012.

__________ loves history-making days like today. She's tearing up!

Really? I was too, but that was because of the pain from the chokehold I was put in by socialism this morning. Cough cough.

__________ says "GoBama!"

Nobama!

This next one is actually from the more bloggest blogger here at Point of a Gun, Dave C.

Dave (C.) is ready for his unicorns and rainbows.

A friend of his wrote

What about the green alligators and the long necked gesse, the humpty backed camels and the chimpanzees, the cats, the rats, the elephants, but as sure as your born, you aint never gonna find no unicorn.......are you saying that song aint true, curse you david.

Dave C. again

At 12:01, there will be Unicorns shitting Skittles and rainbows for everyone. :)

Then me

I think I'm going to start a book-burning. Not that I want to, but because I feel certain books should be torched by the day's obligation. I'll start- and maybe finish- with "Capitalism and Freedom" by Milton Friedman, because we won't have either anymore.

Here’s another that I don’t know how to reply to. I went to journalism school with her and we were both hammered on avoiding !!! or ! or anything to do with exclamation points. Any takers?

__________ is about to trudge through the cold and crowds to witness history!

Followed by her own comment of

It was amazing. Absolutely incredible!