Saturday, March 7, 2009

From the Collectivist Jokebook

The People's Cube has one of the most consistent takes on collectivist theory's and twists them into a bull nelson to find the funny. As of late, the crew there has been able to find the funny -- a lot.

One of my favorite political jokes is this:

The six dialectical contradictions of socialism in the USSR:

* There is full employment - yet no one is working.
* No one is working - yet the factory quotas are fulfilled.
* The factory quotas are fulfilled - yet the stores have nothing to sell.
* The stores have nothing to sell - yet people got all the stuff at home.
* People got all the stuff at home - yet everyone is complaining.
* Everyone is complaining - yet the voting is always unanimous.


It reads like a poem - only instead of the rhythm of syllables and rhyming sounds, it's the rhythm of logic and rhyming meanings. If I could replicate it, I might start a whole new genre of "contradictory six-liners." It would be extremely difficult to keep it real and funny at the same time, but I'll try anyway.
. . .
Public education:

* Liberals have been in charge of education for 50 years - yet education is out of control.
* Education is out of control - yet liberal teaching methods prevail.
* Liberal teaching methods prevail - yet public schools are failing.
* Public schools are failing - yet their funding keeps growing.
* Their funding keeps growing - yet public schools are always underfunded.
* Public schools are always underfunded - yet private schools yield better results for less.
* Private schools yield better results for less - yet public education is the only way out of the crisis.


There is much more. Not just these two nuggets.

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