Thursday, August 26, 2010

Top Ten Suggestions The UN Gave To The US On How To Improve Human Rights In Our Country

From the home office out of Good Intent, Pennsylvania.

The US unprecedentedly subjugated itself to the United Nations Human Rights Council with a report on America's shortcomings. Then asked the council that consisted of nations such as China, Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, Mexico, Cuba and other countries who seem to lack the drive to excel at human rights about how to improve upon that.

So without further ado, The top ten suggestion the UN Gave to the US on how to improve Human Rights in this country.*

10. "By 'Human Rights' we really mean is how is the ruling class being treated?"

9. "That Middle Class of yours is the scourge of the third world. Tax and regulate them out of existence."

8. "If a reporter starts asking pesky questions, make him disappear. If another one asks questions about the first reporter, make him disappear. And so on. The rest will learn eventually."

7. "Incumbency for life. Voting Senators out is no way to treat a person."

6. "Mass murders means mass graves. Simplify. Mass furnaces means small pile of ashes that you can scatter in the wind bury what's left of the bones."

5. "First Rule of Dictatorship: Never talk about your dictatorship."

4. "If you let more people in on the action with human sex slave trafficking, they will be less apt to report on you later and you will have the added benefit of holding something over their head for later."

3. "Political prisoners are a necessary evil."

2. "When in doubt, blame the Jews. The world's oldest scapegoat."

And the number one reason the UN gave the US on how to improve human rights in our country. . .

1. "Two words: Media Blackouts."

*The real joke of this is the fact that the UN is giving the US advice on how to improve human rights in this country.**

**And by joke I mean that the flip sight of the laughing theater mask is a crying mask.

***Changed the order of the jokes some and swapped one out for a better one after some input.

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