Wednesday, March 24, 2010

One Fine Afternoon In The White House

LINKED:  From over at American Power.  

White House Intercom: Bart Stupek to see you sir. Again.

Barack Obama: [mumbles under breath] Ah, crap. [Out loud] Sure, send him in.

Bart Stupek: Mr. President, sir. I don't mean to bother you again but it's about that Executive Order you promised me.  A week ago.

Barack Obama:  Hmmmm.

Bart Stupek: [awkward pause]  Aaaand I couldn't help but notice that there's some paper on your desk with the official letterhead on it.  I could use the political cover in my district.

Barack Obama:  Uh huh.

Bart Stupek:  I have an election coming up and I can really use that Order to show my constituents that I am serious about being a Pro-Life Democrat. 

Barack Obama:  I see.

Bart Stupek:  So, if you don't mind that is, can you go ahead and sign that?  I couldn't help but notice there is some official letterhead in the printer.  Is there any way you can print that out and sign it for me? 

Barack Obama: Yes, it is. But you see, Bart. I am fresh out of pens. It's not a real Executive Order without my signature on it. I used up my supply of them last Tuesday at the signing ceremony.

Bart Stupek: But I brought a pen with me. Right here in my pock--

Barack Obama: But it's not a official Presidential pen, is it? It's a respect for the integrity of the office sort of thing.

Bart Stupek: Respect?  But you're sitting in the Oval Office in a Bob Marley tee-shirt, cut-offs and a month's worth of fingernail clippings piled on the Resolute Desk.

Barack Obama:  Respect is what I say it is.

Bart Stupek:  Of course it is, Mr. President.  But about that Executive Or--

Barack Obama: Let me be perfectly clear. I will sign that Order as soon as we get those pens delivered.

Bart Stupek:  Those pens will be here soon?

Barack Obama: It's the Oval Office. We have to have pens here to operate.  Anyway, we did hit a slight snag with the Presidential pens.  They've been back ordered. 

Bart Stupek:  Back ordered?  But you're the only person in the world who uses that kind of pen.

Barack Obama:  Well, not necessarily back ordered.  We've hit our credit limit with the Chinese and they're not accepting our checks either.

Bart Stupek:  So what are you going to do?

Barack Obama:  I'm having pay up front for them.  I've wired the money yesterday.  We'll be getting our shipment in about 2 to 4 weeks.

Bart Stupek: [Sounding dejected] Okay. Will you let me know whey then get in?

Barack Obama: Why don't I do this? I'll send Rahm by your office the moment they arrive.

Bart Stupek: Uhh, on second thought. I'll wait. You still remember your pinky promise to me about it, right?

Barack Obama: Absolutely. You don't trifle with something like that.

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