Friday, August 24, 2012

Top Ten Tasks The Secret Service Is Doing To Prepare For Joe Biden's Visit To The GOP Convention

Drudge has reports of the Secret Service doing advance work in the case that Joe Biden might try and crash the party, so to speak.  
Of course, like all high ranking officials, the Secret Service needs to take precautions.

So may I present the
Top Ten Tasks the Secret Service needs to do in order to prepare Tampa for a visit from Joe Biden. 

From the home office Scranton, PA.

10:  Re-naming the hotel restaurant 'Katie's Restaurant' so Joe won't get confused about where to eat.

9:  Baby Proofing the Presidential Suit where he's staying at.

8:  Removing the booze out of the refrigerator and replacing it with Prozac spiked apple juice.

7:  Recruit series of interns to stand by Joe's side to listen and nod politely while he's transcribing his memoirs, "The Adventures of Scranton Joe In The High Himalayas" (expect a high burn out rate, recruit as many as you can).

6:  Hire man to carry boom box in Joe's entourage.

5:  Make sure there's a ready supply of Depends.

4:  Secretly replace Viagra with blue Tic-Tacs (Jill Biden's special request).

3:  Have emergency topee and/or can of RonCo Spray Hair in case of emergency.

2:  Remind Joe that he won't need the rain poncho. It's not a Gallagher concert.

And the number one task  the Secret Service needs to do in order to prepare Tampa for a visit from Joe Biden:  Leave note by closet: Socks. THEN shoes.


1 comment:

  1. I picture "Crazy Uncle Joe" acting like Governor Lepetomane in blazing saddles.

    ReplyDelete