Wednesday, April 29, 2009

In Other News, Water Is Wet

She's Miss California.

What would you expect? It's part of the prize of winning the crown in California. Some sort of scholarship, maybe a new car and a boob job. Or some other elective surgery. Maybe.

WASHINGTON, D.C. April 29 -- Revelations that Miss California USA pageant sponsors paid for Carrie Prejean's breast augmentation procedure have prompted a group of Internet activists to organize an investigation of the prevalence of silicone implants in the pageant industry.
"This is an aesthetic disgrace and an unpatriotic insult to the fine tradition of American breasts," said blogger Robert Stacy McCain, a leading online advocate of traditional values who helped launch the Fake Boob Investigative Commission. "These pageant officials are displaying a widespread and harmful prejudice against small breasts that damages the self-esteem of millions of women in this country. Their claim to value 'diversity' is clearly false, so long as they effectively banish healthy American A-cups from their competitions."
Vowing to combat the misleading use of "fakies" in the pageant industry, the Internet activists announced a slogan for their campaign: "REAL PRIDE: EXPOSE THE FAKES!" The activists urge that pageant contestants with natural breasts publicly declare their unenhanced status, and "name names" of contestants whom they know to have had deceptive implant surgery.
"This isn't just about small-breasted women," McCain said. "Naturally large-breasted women are also being cheated by being forced into competition with these artificially enhanced frauds. It's the equivalent of illegal steroid use in sports."
McCain said that at least one former member of Congress has expressed interest in the issue, and that the Fake Boob Commission is seeking legal advice on whether the use of breast implants in pageants violates state or federal laws, including civil rights statutes.

I can only guess that it's not Bwaney Fwank.

Bob Barr, perhaps?


  1. It's been fake for a decade, at least. If not longer. Although, I seriously doubt Ms. Nevada '02 was fake. Now that comment will get me in serious trouble if read wrong. I simply knew her back then, okay? Stop reading into this, honey. Wait, honey? We had Spanish Lit. together at the U. of Nevada! I've told you this... Anyway, she didn't win.


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