Thursday, September 24, 2009

Bacon Is A Line In The Sand

This is how it starts. Some group did some study claiming something bad was going to happen. Releasing the results as a whisper blowing in the proverbial wind. The only problem is the whispers are attached to fancy sounding names like World Health Study or Global Diet Initiative and usually funded some way with the United Nations in some manner.

The latest case of the phenomena is this latest finding that even eating hot dogs once will increase a person’s chance of some sort of cancer.

It will be reported in the news once or twice. Soon, other studies from other universities – usually funded with tax money -- will show up parroting the same results. Then the studies will look at salami and bologna. Pepperoni will be examined under the hot lights. Then the other parts of the pig will be looked over as well.

Soon, Congress will hold meetings about the dangers of various cuts of meat. The irony of pending legislation to outlaw pork will be completely lost on them.

The day they come for bacon is a call to arms.

Friends, Pig Farmers, Countrymen. No fortune is too great to be sacrificed for the bellies of the porker. When the pig has done nothing but played in the mud and gorged itself so we can have one of the world’s most perfect food. How perfect is it? Why do the good restaurants serve breakfast all day long? Without bacon, that would be impossible. That is the power that bacon holds.

Many of the scientists are only looking out for your own good. They need a subtle reminder if the word ‘Bacon’ should be mentioned from their lips; they need to be one the lookout for their own good. When they threaten bacon they temp their fates by a meeting with Doctor Tarr and Professor Fether.

Even if you don’t care for bologna, it will affect you. It fulfills the old proverb, ‘First, they came for hot dogs, but I didn’t care for hot dogs so I did nothing. Then they came for pepperoni, but I’m not big on pizza so I did nothing. Then they came for bologna but I’m not a kid anymore so I did nothing. Then they came for bacon. . .’

Sure this may sound like a call for protection of bacon. And I’m not going to lie, it is. But it is also a call out for self determination as well. By justifying their cause with the mantra, “For your own good” takes away a little bit of your personal freedom. Either bacon or health care or whatever the next ‘crisis’ is. Individual freedom is eroded away bit by bit.

UPDATE: Linked by HotMES and Today's Featured Blog over at Pundit & Punette.

UPDATE II: The Classic Liberal has added this with their round up as well.

UPDATE III: The TrogloPundit links. If it was cheese and not hot dogs, I would be linking to him.

UPDATE IV: I've been linked by Ace of Spades, HQ. In terms of hits, that's hitting the lotto. Next to InstaPundit, of course.


  1. Sadly, you're right.

    First, kill all the lawyers. Then the nannies.

  2. And then there's this, from the utterly brilliant Daily Mash:

    It's not far off the mark, sadly. I'm starting to believe that the only way we can get these people to leave us alone is the credible threat of violence. The tree of liberty and all that…

  3. You forgot to defend the brots (or is it spelled brats?) What will the tailgaters at football games be able to cook without brots??? All tailgaters stand up and defend the rights of Americans to eat pork in any way, shape, or form!!!
    Then, they'll take away our barbequed ribs and roasts, and tell us to eat chicken. Get on this, David, save the pork!


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